Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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