Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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