Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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