And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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