I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
