if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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