Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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