i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
