His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
