Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Green mimosas i think yes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
