I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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