I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
