Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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