WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
