they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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