and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
