I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
