Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
