what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
