I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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