I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
