i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
