he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The feeling are messing with the penis
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
