this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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