Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize