dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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