Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
