this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
