So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
