I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize