if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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