and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
