hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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