this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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