insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
