we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
