ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
