It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
