What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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