I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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