he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
