thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
