Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
