I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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