and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
