Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
