I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
