Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
