is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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