I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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