we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
