So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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