how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Found the puke drawer
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
