you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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