Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
