is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
