how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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