I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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