So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
