The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
