This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
