Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
