like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He passed out mid-signature
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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