After last night, I could never be a politician.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
