My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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