OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
