I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
