hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
