just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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